Nubbin-crazer. 5'd.

Think "Mirror's Edge" but instead of mind numbingly boring it's sex having.

On the toilet with deep-fried burger in his mouth and out of his mouth and chewed up bits on his wang?

Oooo datasette.

do you like my wang(tm)?

Except Elvis didn't die a librarian

i really liked that game. i am in the works of purchasing the soundtrack thereto.

I wonder if there's a WISMOD 'app'. I wonder what it would do to my phone.

You use Nivea don't you?

Assetbar! He likes me calling him my girlfriend.

I only use organic lotion

FAP. The only organic lotion recommended by hedonismbot.

Let's get your catalog read. Let's move some product.

'cock-polish' is responsible for 80% of my chubby.

That's what she said.

I want to paint a B-52 like this penis.

[IMGS OFF]

http://paint.net/

not as complex as photoshop, but its free...

better than GIMP?

i had not heard of that.

i always learn something from achewood, whether from the comic itself, or from the multifaceted commentators. thank you, sir.

we have Gimp in my college.. eveyones afraid to use it (or him).

Well done. Is this close to the right image?
[IMGS OFF]

Because it's what instantly came to mind.

Or..
[IMGS OFF]

You can come read my catalog any time. I'm pro-duct movement.

God. That was a stretch. I'm posting this as punishment to myself.

That is something Bender would say. Meatbag..

you lucky tomfooler!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

What's going on her- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHH AH AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Ah, I see you fellows are screaming in terror. Do you mind if I join you?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Do you notice how I spelled my scream with a 'rgh' at the end. I think people will appreciate that extra degree of professionalism.

I was Skeleton in the Closet screaming. Just for clarification. The complete terror of the scream does not allow for your throat to gurgle that rhotic ending out.

Nice try sir. But the Skeleton scream has no aitch at the end. Even the voiceless glottal fricative is beyond the reach of the truly terrified.

By gum, you're right. Chubbied for accuracy and phonetics.

ess ee ecks

eff yu en ee ecks

ess vee eff em en ecks

double-yew aitch aye tee?

He is speekingk Svedish Chef.

Horp dorp dorp.

What do the crossed-out words say?

Word, singular. Sorry.

I stared at it for quite a while and got nothing but "zhoon". I don't know what that says about me.

Oh Ice Cube. Is there nothing you can't do?

(You could have showed some more self-restraint when it came to XXX: State of the Union. Just sayin'.)

On the other hand, I couldn't have been more pleased with Three Kings.

'Anaconda', anyone?

Oh shiiiiiiiiit

[IMGS OFF]

Haha, oh it took me far too long to get that.

All of these comments imply none of you have a problem with 'Are we there yet?' or 'Are we done yet?' which is a problem in and of itself.

Ice Cube is a stone cold pussy.

Could you please heat it up in the microwave at least? I prefer my pussy warm.

I like a hot pussy in the evening, but cold pussy the next morning is pretty damn good too.

oooohhh... nice image... I'll have two side by side thanks.

pussy on glass

Wow. Somebody misremembers their NWA.

comment/avi synergy chub.

I agree that the X'd-out word is "sheen." Particularly since it is a synonym for "film" in this context.

I am solidly in favor of any storyline rooted in Cornelius writing smut.

I believe that is actually his current occupation. Well...narrating smut, at least.

I am solidly in favor of this eventually tying into yesterday's strip.

Someday, I pray that I will have the writing chops of Cornelius Bear.

The man is an artist and his paintbrush is the old-fashioned typewriter.

Only he possesses the ability to write such eloquent gastrosexual id candy.

And this is better than fingering like crazy how?

... and what do either of these things have to do with eating shit?

The Man with The Glove, is gentle. Removing a whisk or a deluxe grater is a delicate, exhilirating business.

noooo....nooooo

Quote:

Damn.

Quote:

As long as he doesn't lead them back to his Ranch I'm okay with that.

He does, but it is at an abandoned hobby farm Horse Ranch. The parents take them along but feel ill at ease when they arrive. You don't want to know from where he retrieves the suprise children's toys. The dark-skinned man smiles wanly.

"The Horse Ranch can meet any need," he says with a smile.

i think they serve the EVOO at five guys.

chubby for knowing what Five Guys is

One less than six guys?

Five Guys is half what Ten men is...

I suppose it would indicate the I've been on the internet for a bit too long when I read EVOO as EVDO.

Which did not really make a lot of sense.

EVOO comes from ugly olives.

[IMGS OFF]

OK, I can't take this any more! Are you my brother?? If you are, you'll know by my nickname. If you even *have* a sister... Well, shit. But I really think you might be my brother. I realize this has nothing to do with the strip. I might be sort of stoned. I apologize for any inconvenience.

Aw shit y'all I think we bout to have some Greek Tragedy up in this bitch. Somebody betta get a mop...!

It's not over until someone accidentally ingests his or her own children in a stew.

I finished your sentence with the word semen. It was involuntary.

A special semen sauce?

Hardly makes the whole thing any less gruesome and hideous.

Stonecrab Gets Sort of Stoned

Sorry, it is not likely that you are my sister (if your listed age is correct). I have one, but she is not as cool as you.

Well, I am just amazed, as you have the exact (and I mean EXACT) sense of humor, literacy...well, you and my brother could be long-lost twins. He, also, is imbued with ennui. Gosh... I'll just have to quit reading your comments while under the influence of mood-altering substances of some sort of another...But then, when would I get to read them? Hmmm...A quandary, indeed.

Women who masturbate to Rachel Ray fantasies will never get laid by men with descended testicles.

no, they do not.

No. We're not.

Is that a hedonismbot fortune cookie?


Cha-Ching!

Heh. I always liked "Help me, I am trapped in a fortune cookie factory, where I am masturbating into your cookies."

'...with a rope.'

too soon?

Will this be the year that Rachel Ray finally gets her boobies?

As soon as I saw "R. Dana Canter" I thought "anagram", but after ten minutes of experimentation the best results I could come up with were "An errant cad", "care and rant" and, most fittingly, "narrated can".

I think we must just come to accept that Cornelius lacks Phillipe's genius for nomenclature, to say nothing of his even-handed pacing and characterisation.

Philippe, rather.

I so solly.

I enjoy the contrast of Philippe's childlike approach to sensuality with Cornelius' wiser, practical and more world-weary attitudes regarding smutty stories.

Rock on, Onstad, rock on.

Everybody's writin' at me
I can't hear a word they're sayin'
Only the echoes
Of my mind.

vOv

Wish I had a typewriter that ZING!s

ZINGs! and BUUURRRRRNs!

A retired strongman is working on the infomercial presently.

Too soon, man! I was willing to let the "white glove" thing slide by, but this...

Ahhh... I wasn't making any kind of MJ reference, he has permeated your ideas of dark-skinned men and white gloves. I just liked the contrast of colours. Oh... has a retired strongman died recently??

Probably the infomercial reference. Billy Mays has passed, ya know.

I hereby offer the "I'm From The Antipodes" defence, read: Ignorance.

Billy Mays probably pitched for the Antipodes, actually.

Pun Time: Imagine the Antipodes was the name of a baseball team.

Antipodeans need no-one to pitch for them. We are proud and upstanding (until around 9pm) and speak for ourselves!

if that's ok with our american friends.

Come to think of it. Who the hell are these Podeans that we are opposing?

World class losers. They reek of defeet.

Play that song about the Irish chiropodist.

Irish chiropodist?

"My Fate Is In Your Hands".

Play the one about Montreal.

Do I need to don a Zeppo avaticon?

I'm gettin' sick of just singing crappy songs and gettin' the lady.

Hey, you're not Chevalier!

The Islands:
[IMGS OFF]
The Inhabitants:
[IMGS OFF]
Send money now

Man that parakeet looks badass.

a lot funnier when it looks like this:

[IMGS OFF]

<tribute>BILLY MAYS COULD SELL ANYTHING ON EARTH! HE COULD SELL SHEEP TO A NEW ZEALANDER, STINK TO AN AUSSIE, OR COCONUTS TO A MICRONESIAN! ACT NOW AND I WILL PERSONALLY ADD IN A FREE THAI HOOKER TO EVERY ORDER OF COCONUTS! <tribute>

Billy Mays could loudly berate you in just such a way that you realize he has a point and you should listen to him and do (buy) what he says.

Wow. Offensive then. Could he sell a Smug Sense of Superiority to a U.S. Citizen?

Fermatprime: I wasn't lambasting some dead sales man, but now I've decided that that isn't such a bad idea.

Could he sell tastelessness to gladi8orrex?

You might've mistaken the decidedly antipodean lean of that sales pitch for ethnocentrism.

Oh shit! Aussies vs. Okies!

Assetbar will run red tonight!

This will go poorly for the Okies. The Aussies have a messed up form of English, but at least they can read it.

No way amigo. Once they realize they're both the descendants of land-grabbing riff-raff, and each are a hop, skip, or a tornado from Kansas (work with me here, Munchkins), it'll be all
"Compagnero!"

To say nothing of the shared affinity for brewed beverages

I think you mean we have a correct form of English.

IT'S ON, BITCH

Oy?

OK?

Did that really warrant a lame?

i chubbied ur comment

Tanx.

don't mind woodenteeth it is that time of the month for him

I didn't lame you. An explanation would be nice though??

Ray's line "fart at midnight" -> "Moanin' at Midnight", a song by my favorite blues artist Howlin' Wolf -> "Fartin' at Midnight." I thought it would be fun for the whole family but I guess it's only for the weird uncles in the audience.

At least somebody cares about us.

What else am I here for?

Wanna come over and see my attic?

DO I.

It is apparent that you do not.

Want to see my prosthetic eyeball?

WOULD I!

HARELIP!

BALDIE!

...and I just made the link. I didn't lame you, but feel free to lame me. Holy shit.

I mean crap, dude!

I am the man who sucks. No depression.

Maybe you should consider it?

what, suckin', or depression?

I don't want to lame you, honestly I don't care, I just saw the lame and thought you lamed me and found it a bit egregious is all. This place keeps getting more and more aggressive.

We gotta watch our backs here man... guerilla warfare. We need some kind of Glad-iator.

What have you done

There was a dream that was Rome...

Think about it; if any other forum community ever decides to ruffle our feathers, we have an army led by Glad to fill our heavenly palace with slaves for the afterlife.

A concise rendition of the bloos.

Howlin' Wolf: A-How-how-how-how.

Nick: Fart-fart-fart-fart.

Scorpio: Lame-lame-lame-lame.

Nick: A-Bloo-bloo-bloo-bloo.

And yeah, I'm pushing a John Lee Hooker riff, but that's okay too.

A-Boom-boom-boom-boom.

I wear a rattlesnake for a neckti-A-BLOO-BLOO-BLOO-A-BLOO-BLOO-BLOO

And so it was you. Mystery solved.

We all know why. You're a Detroit man. No shame.

Born in Chicago outskirts, actually.

"Oops."

hey, me too.

I HATE THE FACT THAT THIS WAS LAMED

i also chubbied this, hah!

Steam-fries, is, is that double cooked? Like first you steam it then you fry it? A..a and why the tautology of rocket and arugula when they are the same leaf. I totally understand the kneading of breasts with extra virgin olive oil though, no need to explain that fruity goodness.

If only EVOO wasn't inextricably linked to Rachel Ray in my mind.

It is inextricably linked to extra virgins in my mind.

Extra Virgins: They're not your father's virgins.

He has too many, so he gives you the spares.

This is your brain on Rachel Ray, deep-fried in EVOO.

[IMGS OFF]

Chitlins? No doubt some kind of home cooked vittles.

I believe that is a funnel cake.

Also, it is a bad idea to fry in extra virgin.

Yeah, low smoking point, and a waste of first pressing fruitiness. Extra virgin should be enjoyed with some crusty, chewy, white bread and either some Balsamic vinegar, or maybe some frshly ground dukkah.

You can also shotgun it. Recommended if you want the full experience.

It makes a first class enema as well.

I can't help but take this opportunity to suggest anybody seriously into psychedelics do an LSD colonic. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...

Also, a wine enema is enjoyable.

I also wish to point out that I had done this the day before posting this. The timing seemed perfect.

Aw figs to ya.

Someone, give this man a cigar!

Could not bring myself to make a joke about Hyderabad.

Appreciated.

Fryer? I never even met 'er.

Put my middle and index finger roughly into her pudenda while reciting bawdy limericks and gyrating my groin into the side of her face? I never even met'er.

Oh god, please let this be the start of a story arc.

NO.

Oh God, please let this instead be the end of a Memento-style flashback-laden story arc.

Ray is totally high in the last panel. Check that cheeky grin.

No, no, no, that is the smile of a salesman who knows they are helping their customer increase their business. The deal is good for him, yes, but even more beneficial to the client, that fills him with a sense of pride that cannot be contained.

How well the business community addresses [the client's] needs is up to you and me. It's an exciting time.

kick his pinko-commie stinkring

Are you two guys a thing?

we are sometimes on the same page. But that Alex man, I just don't get what planet the dude's from. It's sad man. How can a guy be so smart, yet so dumb? He's got major insecurities going on. Insecurities sap your soul, make you a pussy, a woman even.

If you're sad about anything other than how you're spending your summer, you need to reprioritize.

That is, unless you are achilleselbow. If that is the case, time for a new troll, man. This one's a little stale.

u fin' him u fight him. nothin' wong wit 2 grown men settlin' shit with punchs

dang ray so--*fart*--true, mang, so--*burrrrrrp*--true. couldn't have--*riiiiiiiiiip*--said it better--*faaaaaart*--myself.--*urrrrrepppp*

"with teh price of gas so high i cannit eat nachos no more lol. can't aford to faux-shit no more"

And here I thought WISMOD was just shorthand for what clerics rely on.

I'd hit it.

*buy several cases.

wait so you mean to tell me that 50% of everyone on assetbar is stoned out of their minds? but then what about the other 60%?

75% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Only 10% of the population is aware of that.

humans. you "people" malka me lol

i was surprised to find out myself

but then I realized that it makes perfect sense, since we read a webcomic with cats that hit the bong regularly and get stoned with frequency

100% of me is stoned right now.

I think I've just come.

But do you wanna?

brb guys i needa shit real bad but dis radio programme is so interesting i fink if it doesnt end soon will shit pants. more on dis at 12 am gmt

I was going to chubby you but I ran out

Huuugs

What if some even got on the Mayor

Siiick!

We're in your corner, Glad!


We're not in his corner.

It smells awful in that corner.

Baby.

Why can't I be you.

You breakin my heart in two.

Lick my cod and two.

My Frynapple-sense is tingling.

I detect a troll.

so any1 who wants his cod sucked ia a stroll n ur opinion? mus' be hard 2 find hats dat fit. what wiff u bein' so smaw minded

My thick skull makes up for it in terms of head size.

Your what?

"Yew know. Me pencil and spectacles."

Huh?

Auto-fellatio is dangerous and can be addictive. Don't risk it.

It's what happens when things get out of hand.

i'm gay as hell an' im not gonna hide it anymore i fuck women with a big dick and fight men who look at me wrong. step up off me

you read the vinny column ?

i am stevie

you only fuck women that have big dicks? hmm...

I like big dicks in between them thighs.
You other brothers can deny
When a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a dick up in my face I get sprung
Wanna pull up some

This is the most I will do with this. It has been a long night of mediocre assets.

The dirt's gonna be your dessert my EVOO be your life source and the only way to get it is to suck, or fuck, or be poor and devoid and masturbate me, masturbate me, then slurp it from your palm, like a dry desert soaking up rain soaking up sun, like a dry desert soaking up rain, soaking up sun...

me an' ma friends b4 teh went 2 afghanistan. hopes tey r OK haven't erd form 'em in 8 days since operation panther claw or wateer.

[IMGS OFF]

CHICK IN THE MIDDLE IS CUTE

SO THIS IS THAT FAMOUS ADKINS DIET GUY. WOW. i'M SOLD!

lol u have yellow fever

lol she has jungle fever

steev is the man who does not know how racist East Asians are

if she did have jungle fever her parents would disown her, on the seriousness. for dishonoring their family and shit

Guy on the left is hot. Is that you, gladi?

im black, dood

wtf so am i man no lie

good to see another brother on assetbar

bein' also black dont earn points whiff me. respect's wat does it

Also grammar. :P

oh word i'm not trying to get brownie points or shit but i was wondering if there were others of similar race to myself on assetbar

and now i know why people always be fuckin with you constantly

also, in before some fag goess DURR HURR HURR U USED THE WORD BROWNIE

ya, lotta thinly valed racists on here

you don't type like youre black, rex. As for everyone else I picture everyone on here as white and/or redneck. Except Achileselbow because I already know he's russian and probably has a very hairy body. Anyway that is vey racists of me to picture everyone as a certain race by default until I learn otherwise. I eill try to change and picture everyone as toads or something instead like that.

yo that's racist son how come you think black people gotta type a certain way

i lamed you for that

y black women go to picnic wiffout panties on? lol to keep flies off teh food.

bam

zing

plummet you can often tell when a person is African American by how they type... by the way they word things and even the ideas they have. Black people have their own language. It is a combination of social and economic factors that segregates black americans enough from whitey to where they can sustain their own dialect.

I got a roommate he is from Africa and he laughs his ass off at American TV shows, and I realized that he is laughing at things that just aren't as funny to Americans as they are to Africans. Africa is like this whole different world, different basic realities of life, different fabric of society sort of thing. When I was a kid and my family moved to the U.S. from Africa I did a similar thing I laughed my ass off at the Charlie Chaplin movies my 3rd grade teacher used to show us, but all the other kids were pretty blaze about them.

yeah in this setting of the assetbar and with the new generation that is more fluent in a more fluid sort of written communication, it is probably harder to perceive someone's likely race from his or her prose, but you get the older generation, 75% or more of they ain't gonna get out two sentences on any subject without some sort of African American Vernacular slippin in there.

I realized today what pisses me off about my roommate. It is his use of language. He doesn't learn the fucking American Vernacular. He doesn't. He tells me today he is going to go outside and wet his flowers, meaning he is going to water the flowers. Hello... Maybe in fucking Africa where they speak some derivative of the Queen's Queer English they may well use wet as a verb, but this is fucking America, bitch! And you know, sometimes you are friends with a commie foreigner and you keep correcting their English for them, but you only do this if your friend is INTERESTED. Some of the fucking mexicans and puertoricans and canadians and slanty-eyed-yellow-faces are interested, and some aren't, and you start to pick up relatively quickly which is which. When you meet someone who talks like they just got off the fucking boat, but they been in the country 10 years, it's like, WTF!?!? either you're retarded, or you simply lack a fundamental awareness of culturally important elements of the language. Or both. Of course there will always be exceptions in every group, but man, there are some groups that are sooooo fucked when it comes to awareness of the culture around them, and it doesn't help that they have their own extended stateside support networks... they come to America and they live in America but actually they're only superficially interfacing with America; they're mostly living in an artificially created environment which mimics and emmulates the rice patties and dog stew from back home. WTF? Indeed!

The U.S. Govt allocates a certain number of green cards each year to different parts of the globe. I say that one of the criteria for determining which areas we give green cards to should be this: If everyone from your unpronounceable country uses pay-day loans when you move here, then in the future no one from your country should get a fucking green card. We should encourage immigration from those cultures which are more likely to be successful here in the U.S. As for all the fucking American Citizens who use pay day loan services, they need to be sent to re-education camps. The same with all the fucking Americans who are fat. 90% of Americans who are fat are fat because they're fat and lazy. Unless you can get a doctor's note saying that it's not your fault that you're fat, you need to be sent to fat camp. Granted, it's more complex than that, people are not so much fat because of a lack of inner strength as they are fat simply because their environment overwhelms whatever impetus they have to not be fat... it's a fast food culture... we build neighborhoods without sidewalks and without public transit, so it's not like you can even walk anywhere anyway, and if you did walk, to where? A lot of neighborhoods in the U.S. you'll get harassed or shot at if you out walking. But if you don't walk, you get fat. And pretty soon you get lazy too, and your self esteem goes down, so then you buy shit at walmart to feel better.

Man this country is so fucked. I wish my parents woulda moved at least to Canada instead of this dump. Canada ain't the greatest, but it ain't up to it's eyeballs in the kinda problems you all got going on over here. man, fuck the USA.

* I mean for flowers. wet as a verb for flowers. that is not acceptable. other uses, but not for flowers. It's like you're going to go out and piss on your flowers, if what you're saying.

i just threw up in my mouth a little bit

I am half-surprised you do not suspect your roommate of such behaviour.

teh ones dat dont wanna learn to speak currect hav no incentive. other whiteys dont care they jus say "o look at cute vietnamese guy who doesn't pluralize" an' den it is so right at end of day they go back to micro-enviroment which recreates rice-patty. is spot on observation teh ones dat wanna get better r teh ones who r on they own an' need to advance in world. no CEO is gonna say "why u never anymore? huh?"

it doesn't help that white people don't encourage minorities to succeed. they don't want people to buy real estate and stocks, they want people to buy ten fuckin fly whips and new shoes for them and they cars, then they be showing that shit off on MTV's cribs, yeah, you sure did accomplish something there player, with your five humvees and your three Bentleys.

intelligent minorities bother them a lot, asians get off because white men have fetishes for their women and they're perceived as being 'almost white', just more specialized racism but anyway

black peeps on a whole dont hav good financial thinkin they spend as much as they make i dunno y but that's what it is. jus' bank ur cash an' dont buy too many tv's it's not hard 2 save cash yet black peeps b spendin' an askin' 4 mor all teh time

NAW NIGGA I GOTS TO HAVE SCREENS IN MY RIDE

just playin but i do know this dude who rolls around with screens in the headrests of his whip, screen on the trailer hitch, and a computer in the dashboard

plummet & gladi8, you are both personifying the behavior and tendencies of inanimate systems in the form of black peeps & white peeps.

The reason why the USA is in so much trouble is much simpler than you think. Read this short story: http://www.michaeljournal.org/myth.htm. It is a parable, but it explains everything. Since the founding of the United States the European Banking Cartel headed by the Rothschild family has regarded the US as their number one threat. Over the next 150 years they systematically manipulated our economy taking advantage of our greatest weakness: the failure of the founding fathers to precisely specify how our monetary system should operate. They won in 1913 and have gutted the country ever since. Now they have it all, only they don't know what to do with it. If they try to foreclose, there will be blood in the streets, lots of blood. Some factions want that - others don't - that's why it hasn't happened yet.

The silver lining is that we do not have to "defeat" these people, we don't have to prove the conspiracy, all we have to do is educate ourselves and implement a different monetary system. Checkmate!

http://www.mondopolitico.com/library/socialcredit/toc.htm

that parable is retarded randy. completely. Something as complex as economics can not be understood with a rambling patronizing 5th grade reading level parable. And what is with the Chick-style cartoons and the xenophobic stereotype of the banker, some amalgam of Chinese and Jewish caricature? WTF is this, the 1930s?

This (apparently munged and biased in spots) wikipedia article is more interesting, not that I pretend to begin to understand what the hell it's talking about, just that there are some interesting ideas there. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_credit But there are interesting ideas lots of places in lots of theories. We may well yet see some of these ideas take hold as new network-based systems are deployed...

Well, here's to your friends. I'm sure they're busy.

Or dead.

But seriously i hope they aren't. Damn i need to work on that diplomacy skill

holy shit right nah i just lisned to soulja's kiss me thru teh phone on BBC 1 an' nah teh DJ's ah callin' teh numb. n teh song. soooooo awesoommmmmmmeeeee!

But seriously you're still an asshole.

wow, u must hav gigantic sack to insult me after seein' how many muscles i hab an' how easily i use them on punkasses. in otherwords i'ma beat ur ass. the fuck u just say whatever to me and i ain't gonna do shit? fuck dat notion

notion is one of them black vernacular words. In the african american vernacular, notion's entomology stems from the word "know"

No, i use notion quite often with family and friends, and I hear it often around here.

I think it was for me. It would make some sense

Check the ref, son. I called asshole on wolfensti for being a cock to your friends. Bad juju for him to say Or dead even as a joke.

But yes, I gots gigantic sack when I was your age. You ever take on 5 cops hand-to-hand in their own house?
Well, don't. That's my advice.
You probably already know it.

I love the notion of police officers who are also housemates. That is sitcom material right there.

I have some videos to that effect if you are interested

Coming Soon:
Police House Makeover.

While I distract 5 cops with clubs, Mace, and cuffs, my crew will be busy behind their backs remodeling their shabby condo into an Ultimate Guy Crib.

man i don't know if i'm a bad enough dude to take on a 5-man cop orgy, the strip with Rod Huggins gettin his can rocked by Pat comes to mind here

fuck teh police

In this scenario, the police fuck you.

The disembodied narrator: the secret best character of Achewood.

And who could have predicted this would lead to Cartlidge Head, a Yurdish dying hat, the wheel of karma, and two people reading sapphic erotica dressed as elephants and still being nowhere near the weirdest thing about the storyline?