I signed up just so I could see what was so horrible about the constantly lamed Dr Manflesh. mother of god

Fecal temple, altar of shit

i didnt even finish reading it .. and ive never started reading something and stopped before .. i also have never basically almost puked from reading.. i am .. Changed.

I don't know how it is that I read the entire thing while eating without feeling the least bit nauseous, but it makes me really proud of myself. Almost too proud.

Do not feel proud. It means you are basically terrible. You probably should kill yourself.

Man don't TELL me you never got Strange Pants Syndrome watching two elk fuck in National Geographic with Marty Stouffer.

Wow. I think that that sets the record for most lamed out comments in a row. is that a good or bad thing? we may never know.

I'm not sure that it sets the record, but it is certainly a long run of lamed out comments, and all stemming from a little strip reference comment that I made - a comment, I note, that currently has 182 chubbies to its 3 lames. It is my most chubbied comment - the scene of my greatest victory - which is why I've chosen this strip to make the following proclamations.

Dear Assetbar: I feel that the default lamed out comment threshold should be proportional to chubbies. The general consensus on this comment is evidentially that it is chubby, and the greying out should reflect this. It just means one more if statement to not grey out if the chubbies are greater than the lames. I feel you can handle this.

Dear Assetbar Users: I find the following comments that you see everywhere to be lame, and intend to start marking them as such.

1. Comments that says things like "chubby for you" and don't add anything to the dialogue. You feel someone is chubby worthy? Then just give them a chubby, there's no need to take credit for it. People who provide a reason for their chubbies, like "chubbied for Venture Bros reference" or whatever are a grey area and will be assessed on a case by case basis. In most cases though I would find these comments to accomplish nothing aside from elongating the page, and therefore to be lame. If you lamed someone by accident when you intended to chubby them then there is likewise no need to comment apologising. Suck it up.

2. Comments that say "oh, perfect avatar sync" or "chubbied for your avatar." I find these lame because people can (and do) change their avatars, making the relevance of your comment fleeting at best.

3. I'm getting pretty sick of the things that are established in the later strips and then get parroted again and again in the early archives. "Philippe is five, he will always be five" springs to mind, but there's about a dozen... "Ray Smuckles gets things done", "Teodor is hung like a cranberry" et al... guys, unless it's actually relevant to the strip/discussion, these comments are lame.

KOODGE

Maybe not funny, but it's a community thing. We love Achewood together.

Best. Comment. Ever.

Foolish, foolish Onstad. This won't stop anyone. The internet has an infinite capacity for infinite depravity.

That took me too long to understand; I have not watched Fight Club in three months. It is a basic Thing of Embarrassment.

I wonder what the second rule is.

I'm going to give you a chubby for using the correct (but now defunct) Latin plural of "forum."

...And yet you didn't. Cheap bastard.

my eyes must be going, because for a second in panel 4 I had to look twice and reassure myself that Beef's leg HADN'T become freakishly long.

but is this the first time Beef and Molly have been shown going at it? If so, what a way to kill your boner :[

Rotary Resurrection is that you ?

You deserve less lames and more chubbs for that.

harbls = ???

cock.

= hairballs! It's one of "dem dubel ontondras" as the lolkittehs wud spell it...

... i always thought it was a lolcatting of the Nadsat word Yarbles... ? oh what the hell

But the Pope definitely gets felt up in a wooden chair.

Molly has a widow's peak.

This is primarily significant because she is a cat.

I'm not sure what this has to do with anything.

However, I am reasonably sure that hot dog links would not be sufficiently strong enough for a grown man to use them to hang himself.

Panel five, Beef's first ugly thought is "a kid hits a terrible baseball shot in the big game".

Isn't this the plot of a Chris Ware strip?

Hahahahaha!

MANDELBROT LULZ = CHUBZ

Onstad - keeping the furries safe at work.

this strip makes me feel awkward...like seeing my mother naked awkward

And Sidney there looks wayyyyyyy too excited.

A wierd chubby for you, then.

Thank god we are seeing more Sidney Yamahata.

Phillipe the Flower.

(There's supposed to be a plus ' ' sign in there.)

Why does the plus sign get stripped out of posts?

That is excellent

Excelsior.

OH MY GOD MY RETINAS. Maximum chubby.

You made my day... and I've been having a good day!

I finally get this joke.

I'm not too good at the internet.

I'm annoyed that KACW haven't heard of clip-on mikes.

Why do you fetishize packing material? AKA "ghost turds"?

Onstad is now officially a master of desexualizing sex.

Thank god for Blankets

Beef's TV is actually a telescreen. Sidney is pretty surprised at what he's seeing.

we are going to see more Sidney Yamahata!!

in the fifth panel, do I see Molly's cat like ankles popping through the blanket as she rides Beef?

(she's riding beef hehe.)

You see Beef's legs.

Extra-Large Sidney Yamahata, animal-sex, premature ejaculation and goth lolcats. What's not to love? 5

"Woman we ain't need some blanket! I ain't gonna see none of it happen!"

What the hell does that mean? Does Beef always keep his eyes closed during the deed?

I think he means he won't stop watching TV

He means he can't see the penis entering the vagina due to the position Molly will take on top of him.

The important thing to take from this strip is that Achewood's cats are so human they can pull off sex positions like this.

I think it means he'll cash his ticket much too soon if he sees the deed.

I think it means he wants to see the sex, not just feel the sex. He's a man, after all. He has needs.

He means "We don't need a blanket, because I want to see it happen and I won't if we have one" rather than "We don't need a blanket, because I won't see any of it happen anyway."

Why is beef out of practise? Shouldn't newly engaged cats be humping like rabbits?

Mmmmph? Ah.

HAHAHAHA
beef sex
PURE GOLD

In the form of Lolcat, please.

im in ur internetz
hopin to c mollys boobz

"my lumpz r luvly 2"

(absolutely adorable picture of a cat standing upright in front of a TV showing Fergie so it looks like the cat is dancing)

Chubby for honesty.

It's nice that Beef and Molly have reached a mutual accomodation where the TV is left on, but muted, during sex. Beef should be ever thankful that this saves him from hearing Sidney Yamahata refer to him as "this little grey fellow, here".

Oh, he'll hear it, he'll hear it . . . people will email him clips of the segment -- and there's this crazy thing called "YouTube" the kids are into nowadays. Yeah, RB will be spared NOTHING of this new humiliation, NOT ONE SPECK.

but I never thought lolcats would ever be a factor in this future-strip desire

Why does molly's head look so weird?

creepily, I thought it was Showbiz at first, making the comment all kinds of messed up.

i kind of feel like i shouldnt be seeing this strip

Ok, so they printed Ray's blog on the editorial page of the Australian Daily Telegraph? That is both awesome and disturbing.

The timing could probably be better for Chris. The web site will get a lot of first-time hits from Australian readers, and they'll be greeted by the sight of two cats rooting on the sofa and a Sidney Yamahata/ Goth LOLcat 2-fer.

Welcome, Aussies! It ain't Garfield.

Hey, well spotted!

P.S. If you accept my apology, please call me at COME ON BEEF WE BEEN DOGGS SINCE SMALL TIMES so we can work this out.

But... but we are?

He means a lot of people are also commenting on the blogs and Australia column in the space meant for discussing strips. I would like to see less of it personally. I think it would be great if Assetbar incorporated the blog entries chronologically arranged with the strips and you could comment on each individual piece.

That's pretty much it yeah. Hooray for me being Lamed for the first time. Attention is attention and i'm obviously very lonely... :)

lol achewood transcends new levels of emo (i approve...

This has to be Beefs worst day. Ever. Not even hot Molly love can undo tthat he is now a lolcat.

"The Ugly Thoughts" would be a great band name.

So TIME Magazine, that paragon of journalism, had an article today about lolcats. Prescience or insider information?

I was just about to say that, but there's one important thing about the article - it likes lolcats. It applauds them.

Your mom applauded my lolcat the other night.

Ah yes, the sound of one hand clapping.

could Beef have had a more mood-killing response in panel 2

I don't have ugly thoughts, but in a pinch I often begin trying to do arithmetic in my head. As I am not very good at mathematics this works fairly well. I also sometimes try to remember the words to a showtune or the names and birthdays of people I've met.

And then you start HELLA YELLIN' ABOUT THE MATH!

Roast Beef frequently loses track of what he's doing when he gets into a particularly ugly thought.

Also, "Maybe there's somethin' awful on the News" ? MAYBE?

Molly's pet name for RB is "Sugar Brains." She really does love him for his smartnesseses. I think that is awesome!

Seriously, half the fun is seeing it happen.

Half the fun is the moment of insertion.

25% is what leads up to it (undressing, foreplay, etc.). 10% is what happens between insertion and coitus.

15% is coitus.

Percentages may vary by person.

I was briefly encouraged by the fact that ROAST BEEF of all people was having trouble thinking of horrible things. Clearly his life is moving in a good direction.

Or was, anyway. At least he's got a new mental image to use for stalling.

Heh, I like that Beef thinks of baseball to prolong ejaculation. Kind of like Woody Allen.

My god, I really hope you meant "delay" where you said "prolong" there...

An email once informed me that male pigs experience orgasm for 30 minutes. I have no idea if this is true or not, but if it is, I'm surprised science has not researched the transplant of whatever gland is responsible for that.

My name is Matty Lite, and I am turned on by a cartoon cat who wants to fool around.

Hi, Matty Lite!

Dammit! Now Beef will never cash his ticket ever!