The quintessential Achewood experience? Possibly.

Definitely.

Beef's silhouette in the first panel makes him look a little like the Cat in the Hat.

Which, of course, he is.
Or, at the very least, a cat in a hat.

stoned ... on pot!

I sure wish he hadn't done all of those pots

Do you think that it is rad to have drug addiction?

Only a hard one

smoking heated up marijuana!

Like a cigarette.

I was into everything. Weed, grass, ganja reefer marajuana, mary jane. I did it all! I even smoked pot once!

Don't you do pot at me!

Dammit! Don't say pot ideas near this kid!

Isn't saying pot ideas what Achewood's all about?

Achewood is a celebration of drug experiences.

"my old job". I see where that anecdote is headed...

The first Achewood I read. Coincidentally, I was listening to Blood Beagle at the time.

My goodness everyone seems to remember the "first achewood they read, and have ever since been hooked".

Am I the only person who went straight to the archives because a friend told me the strip was awesome?

Nope, me too.... I started at the very beginning of the archives about 4 days ago cos my cousin recommended it. And since it is... really... rad, I've been reading it non-stop since. I think I'm gonna buy him an expensive present just for telling me about Achewood.

I was introduced to this comic by a link on a random blog. Saw one, thought it was interesting, then went and did something else. Sometime later (maybe a week or two) I somehow (still not sure how) made my way back and then BOOM! Anyway, I have noticed that it's very hard to turn people on to this strip. I got my girlfriend on board with a minimum of...er...prodding, but I've found that a lot of my friends who are very big into comics kind of just stare at it at first. Some still don't dig it. It may be my fault for not showing the best strips first or something. But, yeah - for how amazing it is, it's surprisingly difficult to just jump into cold. I guess you just have to use your own knowledge of the Achewood timeline, combine it with the knowledge of your friend's sense of humor, then select the proper arc to start them out on. If I can work the kinks out of this formula, maybe I can start an exciting career as a Achewood Appreciation Specialist.

A friend and I created a "shortlist Achewood introduction package" of about 20 or 25 amazing strips that we just send somebody to introduce them to it, figuring that at least one will suck them in.

Nonsense! It gets excessive when you start knocking at doors. "Salutations! Do you have a moment to talk about The Todd?" or "Did you know that Ray Smuckles so loved the world.."

That's not lame. I try to get people to read this all the time and often fail, perhaps I need a list.

I wrote an enormous, wikipedia-style essay on the subject. I'll post it here, just forward it to your friends, and if they don't like it, I believe Voltaire said, "Well then fuck them."

I hope Assetbar doesn't eat this alive.

I've decided to let you in on one of the best and most addictive things on the internet. Usually whenever someone says "web comic" I mentally groan and prepare to be subjected to a bunch of clip art images saying dirty things. But there's one web comic that goes way above the others, and in fact is above most comics, and maybe even some books.

That comic is Achewood, an eccentric, very character-driven study of a bunch of cats and stuffed animals living in southern California. Beyond the characters, there's no single plotline, nor is the comic ordered around any punchline, either. It's just funny to watch them bicker or relate to one another about fairly mundane things but often with a bizarre twist.

The strip is better if you start at the beginning and read through plot arcs so then, towards the end, you begin thinking, "Man, that is totally what _____ would say."

I'm going to introduce the characters one by one along with an accompanying strip that best exemplifies them. Because that is how astonishingly bored I am at work. Also I think you would really like this comic.

Here's just a good starter for the strip: http://achewood.com/index.php?date=07272004

At the heart of the strip are the two cats, Ray Quentin Smuckles and C. "Roast Beef" Kazenkias. (First name Cassandra because when he was born his parents were unsure of his sex.) The two serve as a perfect foil and have been best friends since, as they would put it, "small times." Watching their interactions really gives the reader the impression that they're a member of a very tight circle of friends, and every eccentricity and quirk is familiar.

Ray is all id. He's grossed millions of dollars from random ventures and seems to run into money constantly. He's overweight, enjoys sour cream, Ketel One, and Marlboro Lights, has great success with women, and usually only wears designer sunglasses and a thong. He drives an Escalade and lives in a mini-mansion where he spends his time getting drunk, high, and meeting with high powered executives and record producers. Ray is the sort of person who, if he were to walk into a room with you, you'd actually feel the temperature raise slightly. He radiates confidence, but not necessarily intelligence, or common sense.

Here's a good example of Ray: http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uuab3hkJn

Roast Beef, on the other hand, is neurotic, depressed, and has extreme avoidant personality disorder. He speaks in a smaller font with no punctuation, possibly as a low mumbling monotone. One of the great gems of the strip is Beef's bizarre cadences and phrasing, not to mention his frequent soliloquies. Beef can be summed up with the phrase "damaged goods." A Wonderbread bag and an extension cord were his baby clothes and his family history involves meth abuse, accidental drownings (Beef seems to have a strange relationship with water), and murder. He's recently become engaged to his girlfriend Molly, and his slowly gaining confidence has been one of the central character developments of the strip.

Here's Beef: http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uuagdZf3Q

Philippe is a five year old otter who wants to give everyone a hug and loves everything to dickens. He's perpetually five %u2013 he's had several birthdays and he's always five. Philippe has run for president, befriended a French fry, and is just all around goddamn hilarious. His interactions with the much darker and debauched cast are usually ill-fated but funny.

Philippe: http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua4wQlKZ#comment_49

Lyle is an alcoholic, metalhead boor, constantly seen in a Misfits T-shirt and a bottle of JD in hand. He works as a fry cook and is often seen passed out, unpleasant liquids flowing from one or several orifices. You have probably seen Lyle or someone similar at one point or another, doubled over outside of a biker bar like the Red-Eyed Fly, furiously ejected Boilermakers and Kentucky Delux, before wiping off his mouth and heading back in: http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11092001

Cornelius Bear is a classic Wodehousian character %u2013 an English-born, intelligent lover of pub food, brandy, and pipes. Every character respects him, with the notable exception of Lyle. He often acts as the father-figure for Philippe: http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02182005

Nice Pete is a serial killer. Straight up. He speaks in the same font and manner of Beef but has capitalizations when the word takes on a special meaning to him. He's vaguely Faulknerian and his memories of West Virginia are sort of like The Sound and The Fury. Pete is basically a machine for saying the creepiest and craziest things possible. I usually find Pete too funny for it to be remotely healthy: [url]http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua3BK4JX http://achewood.com/index.php?date=08012005[/url]

Todd Todd Todd Todd Todd T. Squirrel is a smack-addicted, stuttering squirrel who has died several times but regularly returns back from the afterlife. He sells heroin out of his van and dies at least once a month from drug overdoses or some kind of chemical abuse. http://achewood.com/index.php?date=07192006

Anyways, that's all for now. This is a pretty good arc to start with %u2013 Ray and Beef drive across America, just two buddies hitting the asphalt (STAND ON IT, AGNES) and trying to grab as much horizon as they can. Naturally, hilarity follows. http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11252002

Man, that's a long email. Jesus.

Are you saying that Ray doesn't have success with women? The man has a crown just for post-fuck.

We would have heard about it. You know that.

Yeah, there's a pretty solid tradition in Ray's blog of lengthy shaggy-dog stories where he seems like he's gonna get laid but, out of nowhere, it manages to end in humiliation and often vomiting for one or both parties. The guy sucks at getting tail.

Maybe he can't sport wood after all.

probably just the old sapporo shlong.

This is my favorite Achewood strip

What if Ray had a show many years from now very similar to Flavor of Love, that would be ruuuude.

This strip is awesome and all, but the REAL best thing about it is that it brought about that unbelievably perfect L.I.N.C.O.L.N. Halloween costume. That dude was robbed, ROBBED I TELLS YA

Honestly, Chris Onstad is the voice of the new funny. This guy makes every other cartoon strip that's ever been written seem bitter and pushy, like an ex-girlfriend who asks you to keep up the charade until after her sister's wedding.

Also, O, are you actually monitoring these posts? I saw you posted elsewhere.

Not a day goes by when I don't think about the Notorious L.I.N.C.O.L.N.

Oh, man, that'd been RUUUDE indeed, but my comp doesn't have a female voice :(

I am still looking for the perfect time to roll up in a function and greet folks with "What's UP motherfucks?". The time has yet to be right......

I hate you forever.

The ladies are ambivalent but he has already slept with them

L.I.N.C.O.L.N.
Is a
Nineteenth
Century
Operator,
Lit on the
Nun

(One of the things for which he is Notorious is having a recursive acronym)

To this day, I pronounce it "Notorious Ell Eye En Cee Oh Ell En," and one of my non-Achewood reading friends invariably responds with, "Hey, that spells LINCOLN!" I've got to start rolling with a more legit crew.

Like
Intoxicated
New
Copy
Of
Little
Nephew

look at ray losin' his mind THE DUDE OWNS PROPERTY!

the rating meter for this strip needs to go to 6.

I think Beef's allegations in re: the Green Giant's vegetable prostitution ring warrant further investigation.

[IMGS OFF]