She is SO a bear.

She is definitely a cat. She is Roast Beef with breasts.

Formerly Teodor with breasts, yes, but this is now.

Remember kids: if it's performance art then it's ok.

Keith Moon's head!!

Also requiring classification.

Let us not also forget the cameo The Man in Black.

Next cameo I'm hoping for: Nick Cave, Boudicca, Ayn Rand, Mary Shelley, Mata Hari, or any semi-famous tranny burlesque star from yesteryear. Sorry for anyone hoping for these, because now they won't happen.

I would have drawn from mythology and asked for Amateratsu, Anansi the Spider, or Coyote, but then this would be out of character and would essentially become my comic.

Don't forget Ben Stiller in the Volvo of Despair!

The Devil had a quite human form.

Ben Stiller had a cameo as well.

For some reason I already imagine Ray walking into Cheers and everyone all yelling "RAY!" and then someone falls off a barstool and it gets eerily quiet.

How would I classify it? I dunno, maybe, "creepy"?

How would I not classify it? As a cat or a bear.

Oh, and I just remembered!

Jan Michael Vincent!

We didn't actually see him, but he personally delivered Airwolf after Ray bought it.

Last panel.

Of note: wasn't Mark Twain a cat? I remember him being portrayed in a cat-like manner like the other regular characters, as opposed to with heavily-inked features like most human characters.

My memory may be incorrect on this.

Nah, man, Twain was human. We even got a shot of him and Ray side by side, with him being more than twice Ray's size.

The human who is only slightly more than than twice the size of a cat is a very small human.

Vertically.

Perfect.

The cats seem to have increased in size, unless Ray's millions allow him to buy scaled-down Escalades and have Beef's '65 Galaxie shrunk as well.

I think Beef could barely see over the wheel when he started driving it.

Are you thinking of maybe Uncle Culpepper?

Or Lie Bot, dressed as Colonel Sanders?

!!!

Mark Twain: I was made merely in the image of God, but not resembling Him enough to be mistaken for Him by anyone except a very near-sighted person.

And the guy that invented Comic Sans that they all curb stomped.

What the fuck was he, anyway?

I think he was a vole.

I'd stomp a vole on principle. Fuck voles.

Okay, now just stay still while I call the RSPCA.

Let's not forget Cyrus West Field and Isambard Kingdom Brunel, whose endeavors are not wanting for the horrors of the canine body.

As far as humans in the strip go, I feel we would be remiss not to mention Emeril (as in the cook, not the cat with a paraplegic friend)

Except for: Phillipe, Phillipe's Mom, Ultra Peanut, Lyle (sort of a cat), Vlad, Lie Bot, Chucklebot, Todd, Blister, that kid who solicited Pat for a trip to the "gubbermint" (was he a beaver?), the bellboy that blew Ray's cover...

American Curls are just a breed of domestic cat, just like a Siamese or one of those weird wrinkly naked ones.

I thought so.
So all dogs are the same species, and all domestic housecats are too?
Where do those things come from anyway? Are they from Africa? I don't see my cat Tabby being able to survive in the harsh wilds. I see dogs being able to, but not housecats.
I suppose they are bred, though.

Cats do alright - unlike dogs their whole predatory side hasn't been suppressed by domestication, so they can live anywhere that there are rodents and birds for them to eat. They're descended from African Wildcats and would've first started associating with humans around the time we started growing our own grain (thus attracting mice and rats).

Dogs have lived with humans somewhat longer and domestic dogs tend to depend on us. However they can go feral (see: dingoes), and when they interbreed with wolves the offspring are extremely smart and aggressive.

Oh Perun, there's not much in the way of times I'd actually use the horrible bastardisation that is "pwn", but that's some pretty hardy Pwnage right there.

The scotch is right again.

the sctoch si alwyas rite

Exactly. Speaking as a geneticist this is the standard for defining a species that works best for casual usage (and anyone who doesn't actually have to deal with taxonomy commonly and wants to be a dick about it).

Sorry, steev_dayv, domesticated dogs are all the same subspecies, and there is a lot of debate about that. Domestic dogs are now classified as Canis lupus ssp. familiaris. Many hold that they are simply Canis lupus (wolves) in much modified form. In current scientific understanding, and as was said in a recent strip comment, genetics trumps physical form.

wow...you guys are correct, and this is something I have known. I am curious how drunk I was when posting that considering I don't remember posting it. Screw you hot, drunk secretary buying rounds. Fuck you.

Did you get to?

All of assetbar is waiting in suspense.. were you able to nail the hot, drunk secretary?

Fuck I hope he did. I hope he railed her so hard.

I hope she was a screamer. I love a loud one, even if I only hear her through the wall.

While I steal her hairbrush to sniff

As long as she's having a good time. Or at least making you think she is. Thats the same right?

I did, and having done it I wish I hadn't because last night I found her leaving the same bar with two other gentleman that you could smell the VD on. She is hot trash who likes the sauce. God speed slutty secretary.

You don't have to be jealous.

The definition of "species" is not always very clear, but all housecats and all domestic dogs are definitely in the same species. You should read up some biology.

There is not clear consensus, basically, individual biologists go by their own standards. For example, lake Victoria in Africa has, if I recall correctly, about 1300 species of cichlid fish, all from one common tilapia-like ancestor about 16k years ago (Victoria is a VERY young lake geologically) there, species are defined as groups which DO NOT not CAN NOT breed and create fertile offspring, granted, over the couse of only a few thousand years it's rather unlikely that their junk would have differentiated enough to be incompatible.

Basically, in some cases, speciation can be a 'cultural' differentiation rather than purely biological

Cichlid fish are particularly hard to nail down in the traditional sense. There are many different species of cichlid fish (usually central american Vieja and Cichlasoma species or fish within the same rift lake) that can produce viable offspring. See Flower Horn cichlids (Luo Han) for the Central American example, and Aulonocara Peacock cichlids from lake Malawi for Africa.

So apparently all house cats are modified African wildcats, and all dogs are modified wolves. I'm curious though: some bigger dog breeds can breed with wolves, but clearly a chihuahua can't, so why isn't it considered a different species? Is the size factor the only reason they couldn't breed, and if so, could they create a chihuahua/wolf hybrid through artificial insemination? Same goes for small cats and African Wildcats.

I'm sorry if this is a stupid question - I was an English major :-(

Man, that would be one evil creature.

Let's do this. Someone find a lady wolf, I'll go and excite a male chihuahua.

According to this website, "Theoretically, a wolf hybrid can result from the mating of a wolf with any breed of dog. Wolves have been bred with such diverse breeds as malamutes, Siberian huskies, German shepherds, rottweilers, collies, pit bulls, and even standard poodles. "

'excite a male chihuahua'.
How would you do that exactly?

I'm a psych major =[.
I don't know if they will choose to. I suspect that the Wolf will want to, but the chihuahua will run away.
I found this. I don't know if she's an expert.
http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/578958

I dunno... traquilise the lady wolf and give the boy chihuahua a tiny little stepladder... (Mr Chihuahua quite the fellow etc)

[IMGS OFF]

are those what i think they are?

The picture is a link. Apparently they are wolf/husky pups. They are not chihuawolfs although i was hoping so hard that someone had bred them.

sadness. although i imagine the breeding process probably involves a turkey baster, so it's a pretty rare happening

If you did artificial insemination you could get around some physical interface problems and breed a male chihuahua to a female wolf relatively easily. Going the other way might be a gestation problem, I dunno, I'm an engineer not an animal husbandry major.

No one has mentioned mules.

Horses and donkeys are not considered to be in the same species, the way wolves and dogs are, because their offspring (mules) are sterile.

I jsut think an effin' elephant once in a while would be crazy.

. . .no, just a ferret or bird or something once in a while.

Or maybe a worm in an apple car?

This guy I used to work with is in a band called A Fucking Elephant.

You know them?
Yeah, we are they PG-rated version of them.

IT IS A COMIC ABOUT CATS

Is the middle one a munchkin or what? Stumpy leg factor present and eerie.

It's so stumpy!

C'mon, whose kitties are these? I know they have to be someone's here.
[I found this picture when I googles ultrapeanut. All the cats are named after Achewood characters. That is Ray looking straight at us. Cute little thing.)

...Remind me never to get on your bad side?

Oh . .. okay?

no more lolcats.
any other cats are fine.
but not lolcats. okay?

seconded

Sorry /b/ ate my brain and made me think that would be funny. NEVER AGAIN.

Since you have apologized and recognized the error of your ways there will be no lame. More could learn from your example.

But what about..........MUSTAINECATS?

[IMGS OFF]

Man, what the hell? Is that site someone's idea of fanfiction or something?

Mustaine has some time on his hands these days.

Man, I love this thing.

[IMGS OFF]

I will reiterate the statement made by others above regarding the use of /b/ memes. Lame

So, do people spend all day on this /b/ thing just so they can be prepared to dish out ridicule when someone else who also spends all their time there later repeats something that they've seen there?

Is bitching about memes the new annoying meme?

Fascinating.

I do like this.

You can tell them by the profusion of image macros with only a minor correlation to the actual topic of discussion.

man, that was less /b/ more somethingawful.

And it sure is something awful.

thank god Futurama memes are excluded

Almost a haiku
Was that on purpose or not?
Because you're damn close.

Cute.
:)

Quote:

Normally, I associate with only two species (human, cat), and occasionally a third (dog). If you want to talk about breeds, I could bump that up to two types of cat, three kinds of dog, and four races of human. What is that, nine total? And only the humans ever talk to me, really, though the non-humans are a hell of a lot nicer. So I'm not feeling the lack of diversity here.

Well, are races and dog breeds analogous? My anth teacher says that race is not a good biological distinction, because most diversity is within groups, not between them. Is this the same with dogs?

I think the reason we don't see alot of crazy species in Achewood is the fact it's supposed to be a somewhat realistic portrayal of life, albeit with talking cats.

Think about it, the only "people" we see in the underground are cats and the occasional alive stuffed bear stripper.

There is more morphological variation in dog breeds and less variation within a breed than across the human population because dogs have been selectively bred to exaggerate certain traits, and these breeds have been kept free of "contamination" by other breeds. Humans, on the other hand, go about mixing populations all the time; even the most isolated of human groups has had some contact with people in another part of the world. So you can't say the difference between someone who's Asian and someone who's Western European is equivalent to the difference between a husky and a chihuahua.

The man is wise.

The man considers himself a female.

The female is the approximate age of the male.
Do you have a boyfriend?
(Sorry about calling you a man, by the way).

So you like ladies who use big words, eh?
No, I don't, but I must say I'm not used to being hit on by strangers on the internet.

Then it will probably be very uncomfortable if I ask whether you mind sleeping on the wet spot after you and bang.

I change the sheets every time I and bang. That's just basic hygiene.

This morning I and banged my head against the cieling when I woke up. :(

This morning I accidentally the whole jug of milk.

Accidentally jugging things is also bad.

I your mom last night.

I'm sorry. I am not good at this "dating" concept. Should we first meet up in real life, and then get to know eachother and then go on a date?
I apologize. I have not met that many women in my life. We do not have to date if you do not wish to. I apologize if I had seemed unnecessarily forward.

That is generally how this business is conducted, I am given to understand.

Are you given to accept my proposal?
It is understandable if you say no.

Ooooh man. Listen, you don't even know what I really am. You don't know if I'm a seven foot tall predatory alien or nothing. Also, you could be a seven-foot tall alien-hunter, which would make us basically incompatible. Stop being a crazy-hat, is what I'm saying.

I'm sorry.
(I'm not really creepy)
*puts away ray gun*
I still want to be friends, or at least pretend to be friends with you. Everybody else on this board makes fun of me. You are hte only person I know who is kind.

why dont you ever love me back?

Okay, okay, stop messin' with me.

WHY AM I SO AWKWARD!?!?!?!?

It's okay, don't cry. Here is a puppy to make you feel better:
[IMGS OFF]

Cute puppy!!!!!<3<3<3<3
*hugs puppy!!!*

Glad you approve.

I'd hit it

Well, you know what they say about ladies with big words...

They have massive tracts of land?

Many scientists now think that that concept of human "race" has no definable basis in genetic or biological fact.

That is what I said, wasn't it?

does that mean that physical differences based on geographic distribution are merely short-term adaptations?

I believe so.

Race is by nature pretty much an arbitrary way of delineating between "us" and "them." But it's not completely random, you can guess someone's "race" with reasonable accuracy based on Y-chromosome and mDNA haplogroups, as long as they're reasonably "pure."

You want Cornelius fucking an iguana?

Sicko.

Also there was the fish that Beef brought home from the lake.

Is he ... mixed race?

Chubby for referencing my favorite Achewood EVER.

Here's a fun fact: that arc was my introduction into Achewood.

I came in during the Beef wedding proposal arc. Our respective introductions couldn't have been more disparate.

Here is a fun fact: i was Introduced during the great outdoor fight.

My first time was rocking your can. I never knew it could be like that.

Me too. . . I saw the ChatSack and didn't know what the fuck was going on.

Chubby for use of lagomorph.

You don't want Richard Scarry?

...why not?

So this is...bestiality? Or just toying, since, you know, Cornelius is technically an inanimate object.

You could write a fucking thesis on the moral order implied in the Achewood world.

It's almost as bad as a little boy having intercourse with a stuffed tiger (I'm not talking about Lyle).

C...Calvin and Hobbes?

Oh no

Nooo..NOOO!

(it was a dr. manflesh reference, by the way)

It was Calvin? No.

andrew_ where the FUCK ARE YOU.

THIS IS THE TIME FOR PHILLIPPE TO SCREAM NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

god, i remember that doujin.

good times.

Wow, Mars is amazing! Mars is a-maaaaaaaazing!

oh you mean these eyes

THESE [cutlery article kept in kitchen, often used to slice tomatoes]!!

Cocks?

Vaginas.

The vagina is not capable of slicing tomatoes. I have seen many tomatoes crushed in their vice-like grip, but never sliced

I thought we agreed not to talk about Vagina Dentata on assetbar...

...did we?

...When? Was I drunk?

I love this movie. The premise is that every man alive rapes this girl. She bites their dicks off with her snatch. Well played sirs.

Ouch, ouch, ouch!

from the FINNISH.

Now if they would only make the logical sequel to this movie, Tongue.

Except it would be about a dude. And it would be a comedy, because that is a really poor premise for a thriller.

ew

The Man With The Tongue For A Dick, starring Rob Schneider.

Or indeed Vice Versa... with Tom Hanks.

The Dick With A Tongue For The Man starring the late William Buckley

The Tongue With A Man For The Dick starring Wilford Brimley and a 30 year old Dakota Fanning.

It fell through that onion, man.

I think the fact that Cornelius classifies himself and her under the same species and subspecies (Amanuenses Eroticus) implies that they are atleast the same genus and therefore she is not a cat.
Although, this might be Taxonomy that is based on common love of non-anachronistic porn...(that's the biggest word I could think of that sounded about right...licks off another smackerel of honey from his paws)...
kingdom

phyllum

class

order

family achewood

genus LoverNotFighterea

species originalus amanuenses

subspecies kinkiticus eroticus
(beef molly) (cornelius polly)

that was supposed to line up...damn assetbar for stripping me of my dignity and my whitespace

Bears do not do it with cats. That is horrible.

You act like you've never seen a cat have sex with a teddy bear. The only abnormality is that usually the cat is the pitcher.

GOOOOD TIIITS

I second the bear. Look at the fully curved ears. The nose is a little confusing, admittedly, but it can go both ways.

ANYWAY, I also want to ask the general assetbar public if they would like to outline some specific questions for our friend Chris Onstad, as I live in Ann Arbor, MI and could be your reporter in-the-field for this delicious Q & A session. Let me know guys! Let... this... giirrrl... knoooww!

I suppose this is as good a place as any to post this question. It's not for Onstad; it's for anyone who might happen to know.

What's the turnout been like at the book signings? I'm thinking of going to the one in brooklyn but i live two states away and I'm a public school teacher so I ain't exactly made of gas money. If it's likely that i'll get inside I'll go but if I'm gonna be turned away without even a glimpse of the store's entrance I probably can't afford it. Thanks.

Please answer this, because I want to know as well. Anyone here might go to the Boston one?

I suppose I might as well ask too - is anyone going to the Brooklyn one? I'm not really into meeting my favorite artists/musicians. I always figure the guy already has everyone telling him how much they love his stuff, and I don't really have anything more to say, so the whole thing just feels awkward. But if anyone here is going maybe it'd be worth showing up. It's in Cobble Hill, which is south of Brooklyn Heights, if that helps anyone.

I'll repeat my call for anyone heading to the Chicago signings--I'm hoping to run into some AssetBastards, to make the trip complete.
Damn, I still haven't figured out how I want him to sign my GOF...

-=Onstad=-

Wish there was an event in Florida...

I am attending the Austin signing. Holla.

And your Selma Hayek boobs?

I will bring my own breasteses, which I feel are nicer, and certainly larger than Salma Hayeks.

If only I lived about 1200 miles west...

Oh then be sure to wear something low-cut and lean waaaay over to get your book signed ... and hey, why not a titty-graph?

*sprays with water bottle*

Chris and Liz could not have been more gracious and at-ease-putting at the San Francisco deal. Go!

Also, it was a full house, but no one got turned away.

Reply to achilleselbow- I am planning to go to the brooklyn signing. I'm fairly new around here under this name but I'm pretty sure I've had some limited conversations with you in a past life when I was called anitrophaeron. Not sure how long I'll be in NYC but I'll definitely be at the signing at some point.

All I want to know is how Onstad's knees buckle and his face flushes when he is presented with your beauty.

daaamn pogo carries a flame like a damn Zoroastrian.

As a Zoroastrian I take offense to that.

Worshipping Zorro is not Zoroasterianism, Assetbar Philippe.

It's like a religion with a tower and vultures and good vs evil and a narrowing bridge between two cliffs and some weird water.

And a song by Robert Strauss and a movie by Stanley Kubrick and a book by Nietzsche.

2001 is about Thus Spake, and thus Spake is about a character who shares a similar name to the guy in the religion, but the philosophy s all different . . .right?

2001 has the theme entitled "Dawn" from the whole song cycle entitled "Also Sprach Zarathustra" by Robert Strauss which is German for "Thus Spoke Zoroaster," which really only has the title in common with Nietzsche's book. So.

I read an interesting book that claimed that 2001 is based off Also Sprach. It made a good case. The starchild=Ubermench.

There doesn't seem to be a Last Man in that case.

pogo is a smooth operator!

(Cue the song by Sade)
He's a smooooth operator
Smooooth operator

http://music.yahoo.com/Sade/Smooth-Operator/lyrics/792503

I had her pegged for a bear in the first panel of her existence. Which meant she was going to end up boning either Teodor or Cornelius. And Teodor wasn't there that night.

guilty as charged, thus the species-neutral stripper.

The only thing *I* don't know is where his STAR WARS tattoo has gone.

Not really, right?

Maybe it was.. Mexican pornographic realism?

I dunno, I can't be older than Polly and I think Diocletian sounds like a hilarious sex act.

Ew.

WHEN THERE'S LIGHTNINNNG

YOU KNOW IT ALWAYS BRINGS ME DOWN

CAUSE IT'S FREE AND I SEE THAT IT'S ME

WHO'S LOST AND NEVER FOUUNNNND

thank you my babies.

i am now dressed as red sonja. you are all kneeled at my feet. except for kickstart. kickstart can be my queen.

oh hee hee.

Dio has rocked for a long, long time. Now it's time for him to pass the torch.

Oh, Tenacious D!

Why did I get a lame for thinking that Ronnie James Dio being a paedophile is gross?

What is wrong with you people?

Because everybody secretly wants to have sex with your 13-year-old sister pass it on

Purple monkey dishwasher pass it on

People raking this wafter, pass it on

pontifical rusks of laughter, pass it on

political rush on Leherer, pass it on

Frenetical Bush's a hater, pass it on Wait, what?

Bennett'll push the fellater, pass it on

donut's a lush lord vader, pass it on

Do not crush or evade her, pass it on.

The runt'll brush 'er later, wrassle on!

The rental mashed potato, wrestle ron!

In italics!

Invite band Rush for seder, NASA gone!

Undone and flushed with heat, where's he gone?

I've gone and fucked the meat, where's the bong?

Live pawn had ducked the beat, dare be wrong?

In italics!

Does it even matter if you are a dude or a lady in this story?

Dio is a hole-man.

Dudes have holes.

Exactly.

Comin' to ya on a dusty road
Good lovin' I got a truck load
And when you get it you got something
So don't worry cause I'm coming

I'm a hole man
I'm a hole man
I'm a hole man
I'm a hole man

wul, what'ya want for 'nothin?

a rrrrrrrrrrrubber parsnip?

bow bow dooo-woo-woo woooooooo

Aren't us guys all hole men, one way or another?

Holes.

Love 'em.

...Accomodating?

USE IMAGE SEARCH. NOW.

There are other ways for coaches and stewardesses to get fired, but they don't happen that often.

I believe I saw that film, but all of the passengers and flight crew were ladies and they seemed like they were very good friends.

all that porno really ensmallened polly's eyes

for her it was art imitating life

And made her mouth like a cat's?

I'm kind of freaked out by her face now

yoo haz wurst gramur

i fix it

(not relly)

NOBODY indirectly insults J. Robert Oppenheimer, not in this house! Not while I'm here!

Also, I guess technically that Indian guy would be more hurt by it, but OPPENHEIMER HAS SUFFERED ENOUGH

srry

:(

Not so much the Indian guy, as the entire Hindu thing. It was pretty awkwardly composed, but there are points for going for something like this

I would just like to point out that omigod BHAGAVAD GITA oh yeah sorry i have pretentious reference tourette's sorry folks

I want to have pretentious reference tourette's, too. So, so badly is I wants it.

RIVERRUN PAST SWERVE OF SHORE AND BEND OF BAY BRINGS US BY A COMMODIOUS VICUS OR HOWTH CASTLE AND ENVIRONS

Oh no I am so ashamed it happened again

or=of
total typefail today.

Oh, sje, I think I love you. In know me an' Nice have got a Thing, but this is different an' special. Can I be one of your daddies? I mean, not like your Dads like Le Chat, but different an' special. I'll be waiting for you at the commodious vicus; we'll talk.

Well, umm, what will we talk about?
:)

Why, Howth Castle and environs. Nothing unseemly, not in public.

riverrun, past Eve and Adams, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us by commodious vicus of recirculation back to Howth, Castle and Environs

I love you for making the reference though, sje. If I were assetbar Ultra Peanut I would ask you on a date. We could illustrate the Wake with Disney characters saying lewd phrases. It would be a perfect... evening.

She's the real deal, sje. She'll play the true finnegan for ya and you will say, "Yes."

Dang, forgot "recirculation".
That was always my dream wedding.
Umm. So. What are you up to this weekend?

You know, the usual, lurking around assetbar, being too shy to say anything.
So you know the line basically by heart, eh? You put me to shame. I had to look in the book.

Don't worry about it. I never even tried to read the book. I have tried to read Ulysses too many times though.

I would like to point out that I knew the reference by having a masterful understanding of eastern religion.

I cannot do that, however. I knew the source because Leonard Nimoy said it in Civilization 4

I'm not ashamed.

I used to write it on my school diary because I was angsty and political and found the story beautifully tragic and a reason to hate America, but instead everybody just thought I had bad grammar.

"Erh it's fuckin meant to be like that fuckstick FUCK OFF !"

I swore a lot in high school.

I CAN HAZ BECUM DEATH, TEH DESTROYER OF WORLDZ?
-U235CATS

seriously, what is with the unembiggened eyes

It's early, they're not fully open yet?

never move in with a stripper.

Closet space does become an issue.

She needs a whole damn shelf for her clear heels.

But she can fit at least 3 thongs in where one set of cottontails would go.

Aside from adorable rabbits, what else be cottontails?

[IMGS OFF]
UNDIES! KNICKERS! PANTIES!

Sooooo hot.

Why does everyone outside of the United States have such adorable names for things? Where are our adorable names for everyday objects?

Wifeybot and I have commandeered the terms "smalls" and "undercrackers" from the Britanians. Seriously, they have as much fun with the language as hip hop people

And without any of their insolent braggadocio!

Thank you for letting me know this and showing me a toned lady.

Man, I'm really starting to like this girl. People say she's unrealistic. Well. There are,like, thousands of strippers out there. At least one of them has to like to read Russian literature and listen to operettas. This is that girl.
New recurring character? Hopefully.

I like her too, although the fact that the two main female characters are Molly and Polly does make me raise an eyebrow. As for realism - well the fact that Cornelius is an erudite scholar, world traveler, and published author who now just chills at Achewood Court and writes erotica is not the height of realism either, but it remains awesome. I've definitely known people with brains who, when times get rough or just for kicks, worked in some way in the sex industry.

Well, the way I see realism is this: there are givens that we have to accept. What we should judge as realistic or not is how the story goes, given the givens. I mean, I don't see anyone hating the Harry Potter movies because magic doesn't exist. If they don't like it, it must be because it contradicted itself at some point. The effects don't follow the causes.
So how Cornelius is is a given. How Polly is is a given. Let's not fight that.

Oh! My communication skills must be hella poor. I was trying to say that I freakin love these two, and explain to any haters that might be reading why it is silly to say an exotic dancer couldn't be a smartypants.

Guys, guys, you are looking for realism in a comic about talking cats.

and they have found it.

Really, verisimilitude in a comic about talking cats.

Think about it. If there was a comic made with Philippe humping a dead moose, we were not like that one because it would seem realistic to us. Philippe is an innocent boy, and innocent boys do not hump dead mooses. We would give it ones for that. We don't, however, give ones for every strip which features a talking cat or stuffed tiger.

Are...are you drunk?

That whole comment made no sense!

It makes sense . .. in your mom. Last night. Naked. Until she was so nude.

Did you lame me too? Or is someone who really hates me following me around?

Actually it made perfect sense. I'm writing my thesis on something like this, except with different examples. Even if characters are fictional, we still expect them to behave in certain ways consistent with our assumptions about human nature and logic. Otherwise it would be a Surrealist/Dadaist work. There are, of course, webcomics like that where a child otter would hump a dead moose for no reason, and you could even say Achewood was like that at the beginning, but it's clearly gotten more realistic.

Well the comment itself made sense, the wording was just so ridiculous.

Thanks, Elbox. You may use me as a source, if you like.
I think my comment was grammatically correctexcept that I said "were" instead of "would", and I said "comic" instead of "strip".

[quote="sje46"]If there was a comic made with Philippe humping a dead moose, we were not like that one because it would seem realistic to us.[/quote]

I rest my case.

fuck.

You're right.
I cant wtrei nthfd uifdtyd

Chubbied, 'cause it's a thing.

Oh my god let's nerd out on the internet. Believable in the depicted world vs. believable in the actual world. Yes! I love this shit! Ever read this book called Mimesis as Make Believe? Check it out for your thesis.

Man those Jeffersons were like "Ching chong wing wong."

You can sell anything as long as you do it with authority. I suggest not whispering.

THE JEFFERSONS WERE ASIAN

sold.

Asians who run a laundry with a sassy black maid and a square English doorman? This is the idea that could have saved the WB!

I would agree with you, except I find one integral flaw in your argument:

The plural of moose is "meese."

Wait are you Abe Vigoda? Are you freakin' Detective freakin' Fish?

Abe Vigoda's DEAD.

Hey Batman what is Abe Vigoda getting you for Christm...
*SLAP*
Abe Vigoda's DEEEEEEEAAAAAAAD!

*hold hands against ears*
NONONONOONONOONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO

http://www.abevigoda.com/

For all your Abe Vigoda mortality research needs.

The only reason I said that was because, when it was announced Abe died (when he didn't) someone wrote a parody of Bela Lugosi's Dead.

Hey, about realism, where are the bullet-hole scars on Cornelius' chest, anyway? Maybe that's a lack of continuity, as opposed to realism, but still.

He's a stuffed bear, they stitched him back up.

for the record: stripper and educated are not mutually exclusive. in fact, many a college town has girls dancing their way through college. some of them even study the liberal arts. i have not met any strippers who did not have a more elastic sense of morality than most people, but i have known more than one that could knock out a dissertation on the russian masters in a reasonable amount of time. the 'hooker with a heart of gold' archetype is more a product of male fantasy thatn reality, but the educated stripper exists

(and before you ask, i have not known a stripper in a biblical sense)

heyo

It's pronounced "Leo."

like

leyo!

At least he didn't say "your mother loves Gogol", 'cause that'd just be depressing for her no doubt messed-up mental health.

I was making a joke about Gogol, not stripping.

I should have read the preceding post, but I didn't so I got the joke in the wrong way.


I also got your mother in the wrong way.

but shes the only family that he ever had...

You have not lived until you have been loved by an educated go-go girl.

In an airport bathroom.

That's old news. Someone else posted it.

Yes, me, on one of my troll accounts.

I remember this as well.

I'm surprised no one has made a porn of this yet.

Let's just say that one exists, but is being held in a private collection.

A collection of privates being held fondly is kept in safety, held in a private collection.

Just cuz she dances go-go,
it don't mean that she's a ho, no.

you mean like this one?

the self-selecting nature of the population tends to skew heavily towards that description, yes

also, two who could write dissertations. most of their coworkers pretty much fit the stereotype

I edited an ex-strippers second book (the one that, you know, wasn't about stripping) and in conversation found that she had a less elastic morality than mine. View that as you will.

Anyway, the point was: literary, layered, sophisticated. I don't think she finished her MFA, but it was one of the tougher programs to get into.

Yea, I forgot about the upper-middle class hipster girls who major in gender studies and decide that being a stripper is 'empowering'. But they don't count.

Usually, they go more for the counter-culture "go-go" route, where they can still laugh at alcohol abuse and cable television. If they spent more than twenty minutes working at the Brass Titty they'd pretty much just start crying.

Man, no father wants his little angel to work the Brass Titty. That really makes a man feel like a failure

Said client is a third-world immigrant to the US.

Polly's face in panel five reminds me of Gerald Ford

Gerald ford's face reminds me of... roast beef.

I must be a hell of bad president I basically suck so bad two ladies come after me I ain't need no more signs I'm no good

I'm just happy that Connie has someone to bounce his more esoteric references off of. How many Diocletian quips do you think Todd would understand?