He is SO close to getting syndicated.

the music notes are so thoughtfully written out. panel eight came alive in my ears

I'm pretty sure that, judging by the lyrics, he'd love to come alive in your ears.

Chick was hot enough, he'd fuck her toes.

Or if she wasn't hot enough.

Aww yea AKKOLADE that third note you sung just now was perfect dogg. Maybe sing it again a little later alright.

I got a hankerin' for some BASS STEAKS, y'all.

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"...but I think what really helped it take off was the characters always using each others' names in the first panel. It immediately tells the first-time reader everything he needs to know about them."

- Mort Walker, in the foreword to Volume 29: Deanster Goes Bananas!

Edwell you just summarized 95% of all syndicated comic strips, and I am reeling. ugh. They are not good. In reply to the previous comment, the syndication business model won't work unless the content that it is distributing is predictable and consistent, which makes for a mediocre strip. Therefore, Achewood will not be syndicated, at least not in newspapers. There are a very few artists who can every day create something worthwhile and creative in that postage-stamp space the newspapers give an artist. Maybe Onstead could do it, assuming he was even interested, but I guess that the result would have a very different story telling style from the Achewood we know today. Some Achewood strips cover a lot of territory, almost like reading an installment of a novel. That is part of the hook of Achewood that reels us in - in a post-digital apocalyptic world of streaming fragmented nano bytes of content each vying for moments of attention and bits of market-share of a public whose mind has gone A.D.D., Achewood provides an alternative.

You see what happens Larry? You see what happens when you find a stranger in the alps?

Close.

Let me introduce you to a new theory on the way a bathing suit works. I promise it will make you more popular, if a little chilly.

I hear it as more of an Isaac Hayes.

I hear the guy from Nickelback. All exhaling after every word.


douche

I grew up a couple towns outside of Vancouver, meaning that for several more years than the rest of the western world, I had to endure Nickelback on local radio and the like while they were incessantly touring the local bars in an attempt to Make It Big.

Late one night, some friends and I were walking home after having rented a couple of horror movies. En route, we briefly stopped in the parking lot of the one and only nightclub in our shithole town (which had a strip club in the back famous for, I kid thee not, anal fisting). I can't remember why we stopped there - maybe a couple of people were splitting off to go elsewhere, maybe people were bumming smokes, maybe someone needed to tie their shoe. The important part is that we were noticed by a small group of guys standing about forty feet away beside a van. There wasn't much lighting, and neither group could see the other very well.

"Hey!" one of the men by the van called out. "Do you guys want our autographs or something?"

There was an awkward silence. None of us knew how to respond to such an odd conversation opener. Finally, one of our group made an attempt. "Um, why would we? Who are you?"

"We're Nickelback!" came the enthusiastic reply.

There was an even more awkward silence. Finally, another person in our group (who just wanted to GO HOME AND WATCH ZOMBIE MOVIES FOR PETE'S SAKE) screwed their courage to the sticking place: "Um. No thanks."

Another, even more awkward yet slightly deflated silence ensued. We walked home.

You are entirely correct. Unfortunately, their sheer ubiquity in local media at that point had probably clouded our judgment beyond such a snappy reply. If it makes amends in any way, to this day my response to queries of "are you (guys) in a band?" is a dead-pan "Krokus".

That, or, "Sorry, I'm not into Pokemon."

A better answer would have been "...anal fisting?"

A better answer would be if you were a robot sent from the future to kill nickleback and you ran up to the lead singer and crushed his skull with your hands.

Woah you met Nickelback?

You might wanna get yourself checked. You might have caught some of their suck. They suck so much it pretty much has to be contagious.

Is it wrong to say I like anal fisting?

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MSPaint (who needs Photoshop?) was giving me problems with font sizes, so I couldn't get the whole sentence in.

I guess thats one reason you might need photoshop...

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What a guy!

that's crazy dude, cuz sometimes i drink royal crown too

I live close to where Crown Royal is distilled... I got to drink it years before it made it started touring the International Whiskeys Scene

Dave Matthews pretty much besmirches his name whenever he produces a sound that gets played through a speaker.

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aka Isaac Hayes

NO

Oh my God. Is there another black person on assetbar?

Now I can finally go on vacation.

I first read that as sociologist.

The image of Hayes giving a lecture of Weber is intrinsically hillarious.

Uncle George no'a like'a being gotten up in. When he are younger, sure, ok, but not so much now.

Or Onstad might have some kind of imagination. In fact, I think he definitely has an imagination!

This is looking good for Teodor. Molly is sure to run to him for comfort. My feelings are pro.

He'll be all sensitive, all inviting her over to talk about her feelings over dinner... all serving up some Wagyu Tartar in Australian veal demi-glace, all with some parsnip "caviar" on the side, with creme brulee for desert... all taking her hand in his own as they guide a propane torch gently across the face of the dish, the caramelizing sugar bubbling like the unbridled passion lying just beneath the facade of their platonic friendship.

All Joanna Newsom softly playing in the background.

Giving a lady a Joanna Newsom song would be like giving her a huge stab wound in her ear.

Then Teodor and Beef will have a fist-fight, Ramses will break it up and then explain to Roast Beef what it means to be a man, give him some peyote and then send him on a spirit journey. Roast Beef will rediscover his vestigial dong, then come back and slap Teodor in the face with it, and we readers get some more Mexican magical realism up in this piece.

It's a win motherfuckin win.

Heh, I see your gender is marked bottom, and your status is 'recovering asshole'. That just cracks me up for some reason

Apparently, it cracks him up too.

Wow, that was quite a ...stretch.

I'll be here all week, folks.

FURTHERMORE, i guess 'bottom' means like i take it, like from dudes, right? that isn't what i thought it meant. i thought the difference between top and bottom was like the difference between dominant and submissive. so i fucked that one up.

but screw you if you think i'm changing it.

MY GOD, Teodor played this ice-cold from the beginning. all injecting himself into the planning. all getting hellof close with Molly. All Totally Putting Together A Fancy-Assed Menu That Would Set Off Beef's Dormant Pride-Based Anger.

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But will Beef wait until it's too late??

it's nice to see tony clifton's still getting work these days

Teodor was the maid of honor?

I mean, can you gripe about not getting any lady action, and then at the same time consent to being a maid of honor?

WORK IT OUT EINSTEIN.

"make love to ya face" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA that's classic.

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